I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize