I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
