i was born a porn star she said
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
