Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
