I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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