I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
