i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
