listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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