Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
