Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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