My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
