you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
