His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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