Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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