apparently the secret to your success is patron
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need moral support for this bender
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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