I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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