Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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