I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I didn't shave. On purpose
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
