I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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