these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
