It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
