see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
