remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
