we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
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Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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