he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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