Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
