Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
