There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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