I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
