i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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