i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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