Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
