Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
