I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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