I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
