ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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