it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
