I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He better not be in your backpack
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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