I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
