Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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