Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pants are for mortals
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