no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My cat gives me a boner
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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