Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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