yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
