at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
