So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
