You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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