90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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