ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
