She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize