Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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