Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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