just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
