Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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