If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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