so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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