she smelled like a LAN party
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
