I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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