There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
