I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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