woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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