Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
