glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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