I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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